It Takes A White Plume
“It’s over, it’s over. There’s no more for me in life. I just want to die.”
At the start of each New Year, I pause to reflect on a turning point in my life, 38 years ago, when I stood over my best friend as he begged for death. Being young, I didn’t understand why Frank or anyone could want to die.
This New Year, having reached Frank’s age, I understand.
It’s hard fighting the good fight decade after decade; hard to keep going forward after enduring life’s inevitable failures, disappointments, and irretrievable losses. It takes moral valor – what Cyrano de Bergerac described as his “white plume.” It takes an unwavering eye fixed on your personal version of what sailors navigate by: the North Star. It takes good choices that keep you mentally and physically in the fray.
A Fallen Star
Frank, once a star in Hollywood’s Golden Age of Radio, had long since lost his career when we met in a small farm town – far from the successes we both had known. I was looking for a new start; he was looking for a way out. I watched in horror as he let loose of his tiller and took hold of the bottle.
Seeing Frank die was like looking into a crystal ball at my own future. I saw myself at his age – the age I reached this year – if I failed to make the right choice.
The story of Frank is at the heart of a book, “Tule Town,” I have written about rediscovering my sense of direction. The search took seven years and ended atop a mountain. My New Year’s goal is to publish the book this year.
On The Volcano
The road out of that little town led to another mountain top – a volcano – in Guatemala where, as a war correspondent, I spent time with a
remarkable band of guerrilla fighters led by Comandante Pancho and Capitan Ana. Their tragic love story is at the heart of a second book I am working on.
Fleeing Guatemala under a death threat, I finally came to The San Francisco Bay Area, where – as you know if you’ve read my blog series over the last month – I met the love of my life, moved onto a sailboat and made plans to sail the world. That story is captured in a third book in progress, “Afloat In Emerald City.”
Those are my dreams for the New Year. I would love to hear about yours – especially the ones so big they take your breath away just thinking about them. Send me a note about them at twinckler@sbcglobal.net and I will condense them along with others in a special blog column designed to inspire us all to keep shooting for the moon – knowing that even if we fall short, we will have landed far from where we started!
And, don’t forget to subscribe to this blog (and encourage others to do the same). My biggest dream this year is to build an audience of readers whose interest in my words will inspire me to keep writing them.